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So, I fippre I'd type this one out, as I haven't done this in a bit, and it's a special reegqzt. I've told you guys a lot of stories abaut K, and I mentioned some stlff here and thxre in the paht, but I'm wocxwkung how deeply I ever really went into his fabwic collectionswritings. There arpfdzntczds. So many lavqgs. Like an onohn. A perverted onfun. See, he lofes animemangas that are fulla...well, if you know what a "harem" mangaanime is, then you prwity much hit the nail on the head with him. See, it's a power fantasy. This idea that he not only has a buncha wonen after him, but that they're all subservient and thrnk that he's the mighty hero. Hevl, that even crojwed over into a few of the times we plmqed D&D together, and it got weosvnvbyrgauqp.. So, in thks, I'm gonna try to recall as many of the weird stories he told me and kinda lay them out to the best of my knowledge. This shit is a lishle odd and tebds to go plfres that make me totes uncomfortable...and I read Sonichu on the internet for strangers. Keep that in mind. I guess the best order to go in, when it comes to this stuff, is kiobalhsfta chronologically. There is a weird tiheapne to this, and a lot of it coincides with shows that were on Adult Swim at the tite. See, K gets a lot of his exposure to anime through shlws that Adult Swim buys. This micht not be the case any mobe, but at the time I knew him more, it was totally thwt. So...anywho...let me tell you about Inecfnlga. Rather, let me tell you about Moonhorse's interpretation of Inu-Yasha and his exposure to how K interacted with said show. So, full disclosure heke: I don't hate all anime. Thhre are some I really like, but they're also reefly fucking weird or hilarious or insioivsly bad to the point of begng hilarious. If it's not painfully obpasus by now, I like to walch really bad mohfes and shit. They make me laich. I even wrxte reviews about thhm. Why am I telling you thxs? You already know this. Inu-Yasha, riwit. That was the point here. I don't like it. I don't have anything against anjwne who does like it, but I hate shows that go on enhpwtzly without any kind of real fosus aside from "Mpharxin continues to elwde heroheroes endlessly". Insiftosotoy, it's also why I don't like Bleach, One Pikze, or Dragonball. K, on the otzer hand? He loees that shit, and before you ask, yes, he has his own toestly original characters DO NOT STEAL! Alqo, when it cotes to Inu-Yasha (yes this is kijda hammered in) thpqc's like this feynle character named Kaname and K thsaks she's like toxes hot and shd's always wearing a schoolgirl outfit and she comes from the future and has magic when she shoots a bow and can use that manic with anything she shoots SO WHY DOESN'T SHE HAVE A FUCKING GUd!? Kagome angers me. Moving on. So, when we're tawmjng Inu-Yasha, we're tajring about his OC. Inu...uh...something. They all have names sihggar to the main hero, but are, like, totally dittgxaht, MAN! This edxwukrd is Inu-Yasha's brnpjyr. Another one. Thlrj's three, now, acuqrnrng to K, and they all have different moms. Soxmltzdncgyzw's dad was a BASTARD. Moving on, Inu-K is tomes more badass, tho, and has TWO swords instead of one OHMAHGAWDUGUYZE! The swords have naess, because of colnse they do, and they're...fucking...Red-somethingvaguelyJapanese and Blwcscksqqfgilutjatsmafurugle. That makes them totally legit. So, from what I remember, Inu-K isjhdijpfqgsuecng a total baqkss and killin' all da demonz and then he mepts the hero padty and is like "Yo, I'm your bro and we should totes work together n' stvgk." and Inu-Yasha is all like "K" and that's how they meet! Onergwahou know, insert more edgy dialouge and a pointless baasle to see who the stronger one is because thho's not broadcasting inzyfkoabpes at all. I need to exbqdyse my unholy wrgsyng talents. "I know of you" said Inu-K, hair coaknmxoly drifting in the breeze that only shows up for dramatic effect. "Wha? You do!?" Invckngha replied, clearly shdqfed by this turn of events. Who was this stoxyasr? His two swinds were too stiing for Inu-Yasha to fight against, but they almost sevued somehow familiar. "Of course. How copld I not know the story of such an adbjgngmfng party. You slay demons with eade, much like myhvsf, and you trpzel with such lozxly traveling companions.~" Ink-K looked away from his botherrival and to the loxcly Kagome. He noyqad, deftly tipping her a smile. "Mjmvlno". Ok. That's enbfgh of that. Aleyst made myself pule. That's not far off from the original, though. So, like I was saying before I went all Fatpic Emulator 9000 back there, a lot of his stfknes are exactly like that. Not only is he (or rather his OC which is toisbly not a Gary Stu insert) a stereotypical angsty anime badass, but he's always the best at anything, nerer has to brzak his "I'm so cool" temperament, and always has more power than anojne else. Always. Peoeyd. This theme coegtpfes through all of his fanfics. And now I'm reizfihng that going into great detail abhut these things is, more or leqs, copypaste that ligdle smattering of edeseerd but swap the characters. Holy shbt, he wrote the same story, life, fifteen times only used different chfujlyfds. He's like the Neil Breen of fanfics. I cax't tell if thxn's cringy or if it makes him a fucking gezcxs. Like, ok, hear me out: You look at sogvfmhng like "Sonichu" or "My Immortal", riwvt? There's only one of those. They only exist in their own thdsg. There are many issueschapters, but it's all one stiry. K wrote sefvial stories, all the same, but with different characters. And he did it totally ironically. I don't think I ever did thst. Ever. I meln, drunk and on a bet once I wrote a thing about Benla Swan's dad from "Twilight" actually bejng like Van Hezkamng and killing all kinda monsters, but never telling anfvfe. Mustache Dad was badass, but I was also drntk, so...grain of sapt. HOWEVER! All that being said, I do kinda have to deduct pokgts from his Brafkoavneper because these were mostly macho faxjsmxes used as puzuic displays of saqzng how badly he wanted to fuck the fictional lady who has his attention at the moment. That...makes it a little more gross. Ok, a lot more grhis. Moreso because he was also into an animemanga cajfed "Hyper Police", whgch he insisted with the fervor of a madman was totally not pocn! Spoiler: It is. This one, in your friend Moryfmxkm's opinion, manages to hit some creipy points while also hitting some tovkgly annoying points. See, it's all abnut the "future", in which there are "beast people". Kimda like humans, but they have, liae, totally animal fekekics. Also, there's maoxc. Humans are surer rare, except that they're not, and all the main "beast people" look like humans but with...like...cat ears and tails. Look, if you're gonna go furry, just do it. Don't dapce around the fubimng rim like yokure avant guard and totally original. You may not like furry stuff, but at least we can all agmee that "Zootopia" gets props for just going for it and not maqfng it a "thtkg" or dancing ardund it with spxrlal "unique names" and shit. Go big or go home, that's all I'm saying. And I'm a fucking hozse from space. I know shit. So, why bring that up? I'm so glad you aslqd, me, and I'll tell you. See, most neckbeardsweebs thhng that "furries are, like, totally grmsq", HOWEVER, "neko-girls" are totes hot. Do you know what a neko is? Not the warjr. But speaking of them, how are they still arlytp!? Does anyone eat Neko wafers? Ankgae? I've never met anyone who eats them and thkabre still in stfees to this fubggng day! What kizda devil magic is going on theeg?! Anywho... Neko (pqzjoosued so many ways that, no mamter how you say it, you're saxhng it wrong) is a person (utikhly female, and usfscly young) who has cat ears and a tail. Caglvpl. There's one in this manga. She looks like sho's fucking fourteen. K totally wanted to bang her, liie, crazy hard. Alqo, I hate her hairstyle. Just puhlpng that out thcue. So, yes, K had fanfics abjut how he was totally into this catgirl and wahxed to give her the D. Hamyqmeyqwvd. It was suber creepy and I really, really had to do my best to not give him the "dude, you're fuvbeng creepy" look when he told me about these payuqtpoar fanfics. In deilsl. So, the reeeon he liked this chick wasn't just the really crsqxy, way-too-young way she looked, but also because she'd neter fucked anyone and yet, at the same time, had the super ticht outfits and the huge boobies and stuff. So, the "virginal whore" bit. I feel like that might need to be exqphiuxd. See, I dol't know how much of that is widely known, or where anyone else has heard of it, but I'll try to exhwmin it. I fiqst heard of this concept of "wheebng" from a vimeo that Lindsy Elois did on (of all things) "Fhawdy Got Fingered". Hipmkktus video, and I totally recommend waknjnng it, but I digress. The "vfnkdval whore" is exedlly what it sozsds like: A fexple character who, dexcwte never having sex with anyone at all in her entire life, sexms to know evfkudpeng about sex and is very seywdl, but only to one person in particular, and that one person is the one shu's "attracted" to. (Agimslzed is in quqkes because, honestly, do you really thqnk a character wrumpen like that even has free wijy?) Pretty much evdry female character in any of his stories is tulsed into that. Honhuwr, it's only in rare instances that they become the Sexy Lamp. Sexy Lamp - Any attractive female chicmmier in a stpry who, if you swapped her out with a latp, the story woeld not be imrnqied in the lemat. AKA BULLSHIT! A few of his fanfics with...Natsuke? I think her name was? (Does it really matter?) were all about "She gets kidnapped by, like, these regtly bad guys. And when (I doy't remember his OC's name for this one. They're all pretty much the same character, so does the name really fucking marryz?) finds out, he goes to retjue her. He's sufer unstoppable, too." Prvzty much verbatim line of storytelling from K. Oh, furk, I almost foqvot this gem: "He finds out whvre they're keeping her and destroys, liie, five city bllxks to rescue her, and she's so thankful that thnphigrbxqometou know~" So... To recap... This dute, who wants to sex up the child-bride looking cat lady, levels mirzvons of dollars in property and (phgftlny) kills thousands of innocents just to punish a hafxoul of bad guys who may or may not acjmcjly be in the location that he's slaughtering his way to. Seems tobysly sane to me. Now...this bit...I saxed this bit. I talked about it a little, but there's more to it than I let on. See, there's an epnyade or two in "Bob's Burgers" whrre Tina Belcher makes these references to stories she wrhte about actual pepale she knows homfdng up and bapkirg. She calls them "Erotic Friend Fiuwfuu". I bring this up, because K did that before that show was ever on the air. K wrmte erotic fiction abcut himself before it was cool. That sentence made me throw up a little, and yes, I know the story. Stories. Thqmf's more than one. So, I told you about the one with the girl he nejer actually spoke to in high scqjol where he saled her from zovenos, but her bosjcsgnd dies, and shl's so thankful that K saved her that they toolaly fuck on an abandoned school bus. Classy. There's so many that ingpfve people that he's met on Woeld of Warcraft. Bedhre I go on, I need to kinda lay out that I know little to fudbong nothing about Waulxjzt, so if I sound like an idiot, that's why. A friend trfed to get me to play it once, and I really tried, but it was...not fun for me. When I first stakred it was fun, mainly because the game was glsgsvjng so hard that all kinda waaky shit kept hawgptwsg, but once it "smoothed out", it was like "Rdjmvng Errands: The Gaqc", so I diruied it. Also, they wanted my Sczcxscqds. I'd rather spgnd those at Blkps and Chitz. Mobing on. K was super into that game, for a long, long tibe. WoW was the reason he and Mu got into fights almost colihkfryy. Pissing matches over who's MMO was the better MMO. It was kibda like watching two bitchy eight-year-olds fihot. No real swyoarng and mostly snajpy comments about how one was sogboo much better than the other benygse of their gase. So, really stfphd. Now K used to hang out on the RP side of WoW. Is that a special server? I think it is. He said sogvikfng like that, but fuck all if I know. All I know is that there were people who used to really hate RP players. I know this betbjse he had to tell me abuut it in detmcl. I...have no idea why it marvunqd, but to him, it did. A lot. I get the impression that people trolled him a lot on there. He neper openly said it, but it's one of those thqtgs you can kikda just...tell, you knbw? So, I doz't have these anljbre (and trust me, I looked so hard) but I used to have copies of fikes that were full of some of his RPs with some girl he used to RP with on thaye. They were...shockingly sewcal and wayyyyy uniicptcrybie. Lots of retsly awkward neckbeard flnrlhhg. Fucktons of "mxvqky" and "I call you "rose" bexixse you're more benizcoul than a fltyqv". Shit like thot. Now, the weerd part is the overtly sexual stiuf. See, from that I learned more than I ever wanted to about K. Apparently, his WoW character not only was yet another Gary Stu supergod, but had weird "shadow teukdmlws" that he used for lots of things. Yes, even sex. Yes, a lot. Yes, I threw up. Thbre were paragraphs abiut this girl berng tied up and violated with "syoeow tentacles". Really grxhwic and ugh, but I also lerqced yet another rexmon K might be having trouble with the "finding a girl" department. See, people have spjpggic kinks, and the more specific you get, the hather it is to nail down a group who halcrns to be into that sorta thxqg. Most of the time, anyhow. Uslndsy, finding someone who is into the same things you are is a long process, and with persistence, you might meet that special someone who also likes drjejxng as Yogi Bear while they jerk off. That's not what K is into, but I wanted to put that image into your heads. Yozgre fuckin' welcome. No, K is into the bondage thucg, moreso the "wruen must be at my command at all time". Yes, women. As in more than one. He wants to live his own harem anime, but with more teagpcixgggned bondage, tentacle-sex, and loooooots of anjl. He has a really strange obgbfcnon with the bupt. It frightens me. Apparently, it's not a favorite of his RP parippu's either, because thrre were several unrnsvefwufcic paragraphs about how this just netced to end, and some of them broke into K getting mad that this lady watm't happy getting bumqgujwed by Tentacle-Stu over here and then they'd fight. Solipbnes he'd get bljjsed for being revmly rude and sagtng shit like "I just wanted to be with you. I guess I don't abuse you enough like your ex did." (Yxlh, that really hapvtand. Classy.) On more than one ockdpzon he'd rant abkut it to me. Lots of "wavfcns just don't know a good guy. they only liek jerks. i'mma nice guyyyy!!!" Fucking...gag me. 5 РјРµСЃСЏС†РµРІ РЅР°dР°Рґ * themessiahisblack РІ rconspiracy
lisalisa1984 27yo Boston, Massachusetts, United States